It’s nearly summer, y’all, and you know what that means … summer flings. The season is ripe with opportunities to meet cute new guys you might never have met during the hellish months of winter and beyond. And who even knows, you might like some of these guys enough to want to keep them around till next summer…
Aquarius: The Soundcloud DJ
Your chill nature and independence mean you barely have to look for a summer bae. They’ll just appear out of nowhere, like gnats on a deck, buzz-buzz-buzzing around and vying for a millisecond of your attention.
The Soundcloud DJ is the perfect match for you because they’re hot and, due to the nature of their extremely chill EDM vibes, won’t annoy you as much as another sign. Plus, you dig that they’re always doing their own thing (spinning at the local bar, working with their friend Matt to get that “sick beat up before August” in Matt’s studio/basement, going to shows) because it means they’re not constantly bugging you to hang out. You need your space too! How else are you supposed to get that summer tan?
How You’ll Meet: They’re aux-cord DJing the Fourth of July party you’re all at, and they catch you shame-Shazaming one of their songs. “It’s my own mix,” they say, and you’re like, “Um, OK…” and walk away. Then you realize you’ve been orbiting each other’s friend circles all month and after they won’t stop texting you to get dinner (“Ew, who does that!” you ask all your friends), you finally give in and are inseparable since.
Love Forecast: Lows in June, highs in July and August, with a chance of things making it to October, but probably not beyond that. You’ll get annoyed with them before sweater weather rolls around.
Pisces: The Filmmaker
Your sensitive nature makes you a sucker for people who see the world through RED camera lenses. They hit you up in late May and you’re together for the rest of summer. It’s great because you don’t have to question what you are like you have with so many other people. The Filmmaker, always one to be fastidious with labels and credits, is quick to ask you to be their Official GF™ pretty straightforwardly out the gate.
You share a beautiful summer together, the stuff of Sarah Dessen novels (your North Star of sensuality, obviously), talking about Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbuch in each other’s rooms with the windows open (they don’t have A/C, of course).
How You’ll Meet: They see you watching a sensitive Netflix show at a coffee shop and strikes up a convo. You love how they seem to know everything about stuff you didn’t even know you wanted to know about, and they love that you’re so open-minded about everything.
Love Forecast: Highs all summer. It’s going to be a scorcher of a season for you, Pisces. Enjoy it! This is going to be one of your great loves, the one you pull inspo from for years after the fact, so buckle in.
Aries: The Crossfitter/Lifeguard
You love mounting a physical challenge, and you love a challenge at the gym too! Haha, get it? It’s, like, a sex thing. IDK. Anyway, suffice it to say, you will def be getting hella physical this summer, with a hottie who’s as into being active as they are into you.
The two of you share a rollicking time and you feel super sexy when you’re together. Not only are they tallest/hottest/fittest person in the room at all times, they’re also transparent about their feelings with you. Since so many of the brooding, sensitive types you’ve dated have avoided that, thinking it makes them special or sensitive or whatever, your new person’s clear communication seems extra sexy. Either way, you’re having the time of your life while your Brooding Ex continues trying to publish their e-book of dating essays literally nobody asked for.
How You’ll Meet: You’re the only one taking initiative to actually do somethingwhile at the beach with all your friends and this former lifeguard is just out trolling the beach (as they are always wont to do) with their pals. They see you helping your drunk friend Kristine (Goddamnit, Kristine! Get your act together!) and swagger over, all biceps and neon tank, and very nicely offer to help you carry her to your car to drive her home. You do, and then you climb all 6 feet of them like a fucking tree.
Love Forecast: Things are super hot and heavy from mid-June on, but kind of peter out in August, when you realize you’re actually way smarter than them and kind of start snapping at their stupid jokes? You can’t help it, you’re just being honest!
Taurus: The Crush You Can’t Believe Has Secretly Been In Love With You Forever?
Oh my god, of course they have, Taurus! For someone so logical, it is astoundingthat you couldn’t see the signs in front of you all these years. You’ve known each other for years and you have secretly harbored a crush on them for ages. You always secretly hoped they were into you, but being the practical girl you are, never acted upon it, because why would you risk that?
How You’ll Meet: Well, you’ve known each other for a few years now, but you get together when you’re the last two awake at a house party, and you go to hug each other goodnight and they linger a little too long. Your eyes basically pop out of your eye sockets and you’re like, Oh my god, are they in love with me? They kiss you 0.3 seconds later and the next morning after your hookup, they’re like, “How did you not know I liked you this whole time?” and you’re still shell-shocked and processing the whole thing.
Love Forecast: Sunny and temperate for the summer and beyond. After all, this is a person you’ve known forever, so if it’s made it this far, things are looking pretty good for you, Taurus.
Gemini: The Outdoorsy Adventurer
You love adventure and you’ve always been attracted to people who also respect spontaneity and fun, so summer is truly your time to shine and find like-minded individuals.
The two of you have so much fun together and every day is something new, which is so great for you, because you usually tend to get bored pretty easily with people. Sushi and a movie, at the same place, again? LMAO, that’ll legitnever happen with Outdoorsy Adventurer. You’ll be going on hikes and camping and doing watersports and Instagram-living the whole damn summer — much to the chagrin of your boring ex Kevin (who, yes, continues to be your first viewer on all your content all summer, lol).
That signature Gemini indecision comes into play around month two, when you can’t decide if you want to pursue things further or move on. Whatever you choose, you’ll regret it for a moment anyway, so take comfort in the fact that no decision will feel “right” right away — even if you can clearly tell it’s for the best later down the line.
How You’ll Meet: A chance encounter at a bar you were already bored of but your friends dragged you to anyways. They rescue you from this drunk frat bro who thinks you want to talk to him (you don’t), and you’re both shook to discover you actually have a lot in common and like a lot of the same things?
Love Forecast: Highs at the beginning of summer, when you don’t have to overthink things, but temps drop down cooler around August.
Cancer: Old Bae
You’ve always been emotionally more put-together than a lot of the people you’ve dated, so it makes sense that you’d be attracted to someone older who knows exactly what they want (you) when they want it (now).
You secretly dig the ego boost that comes with dating someone older too — while all your friends are complaining about how their S.O.s still follow Instagram butt accounts, your bae pretty much only checks Instagram to see what you’ve been up to. Plus the sex is amazing. Sure, their skin isn’t, like, as tight on their skeleton as it would’ve been a few years ago, but with age comes experience (like the experience to know that prioritizing a woman’s happiness in bed will be better all around for everybody in the long run).
How You’ll Meet: They hit on you at, like, a random Starbucks and you don’t get it at first, until they straight-up ask for your number like people did in rom-coms from the ’90s and you’re like, “Ohhhhhh.”
Love Forecast: Pretty smooth sailing all season. Things might get a little stormy in late July when you get antsy and worried like, Am I just some young hot thing to you?, which you are, but it’s also more than that, and they assuage those insecurities of yours pretty fast. After that, it’s all good.
Leo: The Sexy Tourist From Another Country
You love being the center of attention, and what better way to tap into that energy than by hanging with a sexy tourist all summer? You love that this person basically thinks the sun rises and sets with your recommendations (which, let’s be real: It does regardless of if you’re here visiting for a summer internship or not, so they’re really lucky to have you.).
You “hang out” all summer, refusing to be “tied down” by using labels, you explain to Sexy Foreigner all summer, when they refer to you as their “girlfriend.” That sexy accent makes it almost OK, but you know, ultimately you’re not tryna cuff.
How You’ll Meet: You spot them across the way at the bar and make eye contact before sauntering up and turning on that signature Leo charm. You’re surprised to discover their sexy accent when they introduce themselves, but it’s a good surprise!
Love Forecast: Hot and humid all summer. They leave at the end of summer and you’re a little sad but ultimately OK when you realize they’ll never notassociate their time in America with you.
Virgo: The CEO/Workaholic
You’ve always had your shit together so it makes sense that you’d attract someone in the same boat. You love that dating them feels like you’ve truly met your match in intensity and work ethic — no more scrubs who don’t understand that you need six days a week to work on your personal projects! But ultimately it’s hard to work around the scheduling constraints, which feels like a very celeb-conscious-uncoupling-y thing to say, which you secretly (so secretly) love.
They treat you like a star, and love your passion and thoughtfulness. Sure, you might be a million tax brackets away from each other, but the values are the same. You don’t know how long things’ll last this summer, but maybe in 10 years when you’ve both settled down, who knows…
How You’ll Meet: You go to their book signing event and they hang around afterward and are like, “We’re all going to this bar down the block, do you wanna come?” and you’re inseparable ever since.
Love Forecast: Cloudy with a chance of storms all summer. The scheduling issues for sure make things hard, and you see a jealous side of yourself you didn’t know even existed this whole time come out. Who can blame you though? If they’re unaccounted for most of the time, who knows what they’re doing? Never fear though, Virgo, they clearly went out of their way to be with you and you alone.
Libra: The Political Activist/Woke Bae
You love dating someone as passionate about politics and issues as you are. You’re constantly the most informed politically of your friends, and to hang out with someone who not only nurtures that but shares that in common with you is just *chef’s kiss*.
Things do get hairy when you have to split hairs on certain political issues. Sure, you see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, but not everything. And that’s normal! But it does throw a wrench in the works when they refuse to let things go and wants to stay up all night arguing semantics. That, paired with your Libra tendency to want to avoid confrontation, makes for a very exhausting love affair.
How You’ll Meet: You’re both volunteering to call your reps at a call center when you lock eyes and picture a whole D.C. soap opera of your love affair playing out in front of you. The sex is cool, you guess (they love talking about how they love going down on you, but LBR, they’re not that great at it?).
Love Forecast: Sunny with showers later in the day. You slowly ghost them come fall (they’re wrapped up with their new congressional internship anyways) and don’t regret it. You had fun but it was kinda exhausting to always be butting heads on small stuff even when you agreed on-big picture topics.
Scorpio: The Frat Bro
You’ve always sort of felt like an underdog, so dating an overgrown frat guy feels very “look how far I’ve come” teen-movie-ish of you, which you love. Sure your friends roll their eyes when you ask if they wanna tailgate with his bros (they don’t), but you love that he’s kind of stupid and derpy in a way that puts you very much on a pedestal.
He’s totally in love with you but you never quite want to commit. At the end of the day, you just can’t see yourself with a guy whose idea of “dreaming big” is settling down at 26 and thinks it’s extremely fancy and highbrow to refer to his frat bros as “sir” and “chap” and “gentlemen” on their Facebook profile photos.
How You’ll Meet: He’s dumb enough to SuperLike you on Tinder thinking you’re in his league (you’re way out of it, honey).
Love Forecast: High temps followed by storms and cold fronts later in the season. That is to say, you dump him in mid-August and never look back. He’ll spend the next few years dating women he’ll never stop comparing to you, and eventually when he grows up, he’ll think of you as the one who got away.
Sagittarius: The Funny Instagrammer With a Viral Meme Account
Legit everyone comes to you for your sense of humor and hilarious takes on things, so when you discover that this cutie is equally as funny as you, you’re sold. Your texting game is on fire all summer, you’re Snapping each other left and right, engaging on Instagram, retweeting, etc.
The sex is pretty great too. Sometimes, you’ll just start laughing about a dumb meme together in bed, and then the next thing you know, they’ll just start going down on you for, like, hours. You experiment sexually a lot too with them, because it feels safe and comfortable (you both cringe at the weird chrome-y ham-handedness of overly ~sexy~ things).
How You’ll Meet: You send out a really troll-y Bumble message and they’ll hit you back with some hilarious underground meme that changes your life and that everyone else discovers eight months later down the line.
Love Forecast: Sunny, not a cloud in sight all summer. You guys are friends first, which makes things really healthy. You feel like you’ve totally met your match and for the first time aren’t caught up in the little things. You really dig each other and it’s much more than just a summer fling.
Capricorn: The Food Snob
You have the best taste around, so you’re pleasantly surprised when you meet someone who not only matches that but can introduce you to things you didn’t even know about.
You start out not so much as lovers, but things quickly progress once you both realize you are actually a match made in heaven. You have the best date nights around, always trying new things and going to new bars, and spend all your weekends together trying new recipes or cocktails, and days sending each other links from niche food blogs you both never knew other people read.
How You’ll Meet: At the trendiest new restaurant where you start shit-talking how bad the meal was. They overhear (They’re the chef! Oops!) , come out to give you a piece of their mind, and you start bickering about how pho shouldreally be served, but they back down when you put them in their place (as you always do).
Love Forecast: Stormy, with clear skies later. You guys kinda hate each other at first, but it’s hot.