There is always that one person you love who becomes the definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you’ll always love about other people.
Even if some of those lovable qualities are self destructive and unreasonable…the person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else.
They are often just the person you happen to meet the first time you were really ready to fall in love. That person wins and you lose, because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.