Finding a mate: It’s an evolutionary thing, so we’re programmed to do it, right? But the world and its inhabitants are full of bad dating advice—and sometimes, we’ll hear then out just for kicks, mostly because dating can be so tough that it’s tempting to try anything.
But before you lend your ear to every well-meaning friend or relative’s suggestions on finding a date or turning it into a relationship, pause and read this first. If their advice has any resemblance to the stuff you see here, let it go in one ear and out the other. Below, three things experts say never to do, no matter who suggests it.
Wait Three Days to Call and Text Back.
Nope. Not only is three days a ridiculous amount of time to wait, but if you treat dating and love like a game, one—or both—partners will end up the loser. If you’re into it, shoot them a text or call, or respond within a time frame that you’re comfortable with, says Simon Marcel Badinter, host of iHeart Radio love advice show. “It has to be honest and spontaneous if you want to be respected and start a healthy relationship.” In other words, no pretending you were too busy to reply to a “how’s it going?” text until three days after you got it. Not cute.
Don’t Reveal too Much—Especially Your Enthusiasm.
A little mystery may be sexy in the beginning and you don’t want to reveal EVERYTHING about yourself over Tinder, but the “keep them guessing game” gets old, fast. Even research shows that playing hard-to-get too much makes others like you less. Think about it: We all have insecurities in dating. Do you like it when someone ignores you and then mysteriously boomerangs with an overly friendly reply? It sends confusing, mixed messages. The person you want to end up with doesn’t have time for that.
Be Sultry and Seductive.
Dismiss cheesy advice like flip your hair, bat your eyes, meet their gaze. Yes, eye contact is probably a good idea when you’re on a one-on-one date, but don’t be so calculated about it all. “The skills of seduction involve projecting an inauthentic type of ultra-confidence which most don’t have—nor do they need to,” says Page. “Confidence is a good thing, but you don’t have to be phony or over the top about it. Be yourself, instead of wasting your time on the skills of seduction—they can actually keep you from love.”