Some are soft, and some are softer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being soft — aka being a feelings blob who loves to love and wears her tender heart on her sleeve. Yet there are monsters among us (myself included) who would frankly rather move to a remote island and die alone than admit they’re actually giant softies who FEEL TOO MUCH and need to be loved like everyone else. These monsters are Secretly Soft, and here are 13 signs you’re one of them.
1. You love to tease the heck out of your friends, but it’s Not OK when they dish it back. You have no problem giving Todd shit for his new obsession with “juicing” and matcha lattes, but when anyone says anything remotely rude about how you wear the same pants four days in a row, you get defensive and need to excuse yourself for a brief cry.
2. The very moment you leave a confrontation, you start sobbing. You’re not the type who cries when they’re mad, and you can hold your emotions together in a tense moment. But the second you’re behind closed doors, you (very privately) fall TF apart.
3. You save screenshots of nice texts from friends and crushes just so you can read them again later. You wouldneverbe one ofthose peoplewho posts cute, heartfelt texts on Twitter or Instagram with captions like, “He just gets me!” or whatever. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get in bed at night, tuck yourself under the covers, pull out your phone, and reread all those sappy texts you secretly love.
4. You preface every conversation about the guy you definitely like with: It’s not like I like him or anything, but… Admitting that you have acrushon aboywould totally thwart your steely, cool-girl vibe. You love to have feelings but you’d literally never tell anyone about them.
5. You go into fight-or-flight mode when someone is mean to your friends. You think defending your friends with everything you have makes you look tough (and it does!). But only someone with a secret soft spot cares enough about their friends to come to their defense.
6. You feel Extremely Exposed when someone remarks that you’re nice. Oh no, they’re on to you!
7. You low-key want people to know you really well but you don’t want to tell anyone anything personal. You’d love to have someone in your life whotrulyunderstands you, but ugh, that would mean actually opening up and showing your soft side. Which is not exactly on your agenda.
8. You prefer to have a few close friends over having three dozen ~fun acquaintances~.You value close, meaningful relationships more than you value having a huge crew to always hang around. As much as you’d love to be an Instagram party girl, you’re really more of stay-in-with-friends,hyggeho.
9. You still remember that one mean thing that one guy said to you that one time. Sure, you say you don’t care what people think. And maybe that is mostly true. But at the same time, you can’t stop hearing the way that total stranger said, “Excuseyou,” and glared at you when you accidentally bumped into them on the sidewalk. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!
10. You say you’re bad at dealing with people who are crying but actually you’re very good at it. On more than one occasion, you’ve swooped into comfort a friend who was upset. You’re not the type to offer a hug and spend hours cuddling until someone feels better — you show your love in other ways. Like bringing over a batch of freshly baked cookies when a friend’s had a hard day or helping to shit-talk a trashy ex when another friend gets dumped.
11. You’ll never give a hug but you’ll gladly accept one. There are two types of people in the world: those who will admit when they just need a hug, and those who will pretend they hate to be touched and then cry a single tear of joy when a friend leans in for a nice, long, embrace.
12. You’re a creepily good gift-giver.You’re secretly proud of the fact that youalwaysshow up to the party with a *perfect* present, and you pass this move off as pure competitive nature. But what’s really going on is that you’re intuitive and love to make people feel good, because you’re soft.
13. People are always telling you that you’re “stoic.” But what they don’t know is that you’re just constantly trying to hide the fact that, beneath your rough exterior, is a Very Soft Girl justdyingto be free and comment on how cute the whole world is.