When we are looking to meet members of the opposite sex, we are often quite illogical about how we go about it. For example you’ll likely try going to nightclubs or bars, getting drunk and then chatting up the first person you see. There are so many reasons that this is dangerous and certainly not conducive to romance.
In a club when you pull you normally know literally nothing about the person whose mouth you are licking. This might be a bit of harmless fun, but if you’re trying to find actual romance and are intending on bringing them back to your home, or on meeting up with them at a later date, then it is highly risky and could mean a physical threat to your well being, or just the danger or severe awkwardness and embarrassment.
Why Not to Pull in a Club
In a club you are often drunk – this means that your judgement and perception is skewed so that someone old enough to be your grandparent, or young enough to be your child, or who may or may not be human, becomes drop-dead gorgeous and incredibly attractive. At the same time you will be in a highly noisy environment and that will likely mean that you are unable to talk – at all – and that you might not even get there name. Then, when you get home, you will have forgotten everything that happened and be blind guessing what the person was like. The same is very nearly true of a club.
The Danger of the Stranger
At the same time though the same problem can occur when you’re out and about. If you approach someone or someone approaches you off of the street, then you will not be likely to know anything about that person. They might tell you things about themselves but they may well be lying – and if they’ve approached you then they will have been able to prepare a story and will likely have done this a few times before. You are likely to be surprised, and flattered by the attention, and thus some of your good judgement again goes out the window.
Another way people often meet strangers is online, and this of course is even more dangerous and involves a lot of risks. While it’s easy to lie about yourself in person, it’s even easier to lie online – and even to create a whole false identity using other peoples’ pictures etc. Thus when you meet that person in the flesh, there’s always a chance that they won’t be who they say they are at all – and that they could be much older or even that there might be more than one of them leaving you very vulnerable.
What Happens Next
What happens next is then either highly awkward and embarrassing – you go on a date and find that the person does not look like you remembered them, or that you have nothing in common whatsoever. If you often meet up with people that you’ve pulled in clubs then you are likely to have had countless embarrassing and unsuccessful dates. The person then might also turn out to be somewhat clingy and while you might have found it to be an unsuccessful date, you can still find yourself having to politely tell the other party that you don’t want to see them again – which is normally more than a little embarrassing and painful.
The worst case scenario however is that they have lied to you, or that they have ulterior motives. You’re now meeting up with someone that you don’t know anything about – likely at night, and likely with no one else in tow. They could of course be dangerous, struggle taking no for an answer, or just have lied about being single etc.
If you do meet up with, or even go home with a stranger, then you should take certain precautions. Always have an excuse so that you can get away if things aren’t going well (the oldest trick in the book is to ask a friend to call you and to alert you of an emergency which you can choose to act on or ignore) and don’t be afraid to be rude in order to get away. At the same time though you should also take precautions to ensure that you are safe – for instance you should make sure that there is always someone who knows where you are so that they can come and find you or inform the police if they don’t hear from you. At the same time if it’s a complete stranger you are meeting then it’s a good idea to meet them with a friend or even a sibling (make sure they know this is the case – if they’re reasonable then they should understand). If you’re worried that this will ruin any chance of romance, then you could always be in town with someone else when you meet the person and then part ways with your friend if the person seems normal and friendly.
Of course it’s better to just not chat up strangers at all. But how can you find anyone if you don’t take a chance on a stranger from time to time? Actually there are loads of ways you can. For instance, try meeting up with someone who is the friend of a friend – and this way you have someone who can vouch for them. At the same time parties are a great place to meet people as you can talk to them for a lot longer. You can also get to know people in clubs or in classes, or can date colleagues of friends – all of these things will help you to be safer in meeting potential partners, and to be more likely to hit it off. However failing this don’t completely avoid meeting people you don’t know – whoever you meet there is always the risk of things going wrong, and sometimes you just need to take a chance and go with your instincts.