Breaking news: All men want is a woman who is nice. According to Fox News, which is absolutely an authority on how men and women should interact, men want “soft, gentle, and kind” women, who do things for them without expecting anything in return. Don’t worry, men, women have gotten way used to not expecting anything from you.
Anyway, what do women want? According to Fox, women say they want a nice guy, but they really want a “bad boy,” someone who is “gruff,” like a dog smoking a cigarette, or a motorcycle cursed to be a man. But we all know women are much more complicated than that. They want more from men, such as:
- Equal pay
- For them to not assume women are “natural caretakers.”
- To stop whining about the “friendzone.”
- For them to stop blaming their behavior on how women dress.
- To pay for their share of healthcare, even if it’s maternity care.
- For old, white ones to stop telling women what to do with their genitals.
- To honestly, like, exfoliate. Or, how hard is it to use lotion?
- For them to stop employing abusers.
- To literally be The Rock.
If you need us, we’ll be with a dog smoking a cigarette who doesn’t mind if we expect something from him from time to time.