If there’s anything worse than trying on and buying jeans, it has to be finding a hot bikini. It’s easy to simply find cute styles when they’re everyfuckingwhere but when you have a bigger bust than all the junk in your trunk, it’s fucking hell. No one wants to strut the beach with like, no ass when you already have so many insecurities about your winter weight gain. Even though July literally starts this weekend, you still haven’t started your “summer workout plan” because if we’re being honest, you’re not stepping foot into a gym more than twice and you’re sure as hell not going to do a 30-day squat challenge at home when you have to take care of drinking and catching up on Bachelorette scandalsother responsibilities. If you aren’t waking up with a 6-pack tomorrow (like, same), here are the best bathing suit bottoms to buy that will make you have the best J. Lo-looking ass on the beach. And the best part is, you don’t even have the exert energy to get it. Bless.
Thank god for the high waist trend because this style gives your butt a big boost and hides any slight muffin top by hugging your hips. A ruffled crochet pattern adds volume to widen the bottom too. Although black is the only relevant color ever because it makes us look skinny AF, for an opposing thickening appearance, find the style in white.
A cheeky fit does exactly what it says. By showing more skin, the high rise sides give your body an hourglass figure so your ass looks fuller with a lifting shape but like, without making you look like you have an awk wedgie.
Usually, stripes are a big no-no. However, to give the illusion that you have a nice ass, opt for this style with a little bit of scrunching and horizontal stripes to widen your bottom half. It has just the right amount of slutty with its slightly revealing cheeky cut, aka ideal for quality beach Instas.
The classic string bikini you probs wear every year is actually good for your booty if you have a style with a bright design. Bright colors and trippy patterns confuse the eye into thinking your ass looks larger than it really is—kind of like hypnosis shit or wearing “drunk goggles.” But for your butt.
Similar to wearing underwear, I know, but you should know by now that in order to achieve max booty poppin’ results, you need to strut in the Kardashians’ fave style: the thong. With dainty straps and in clean white, this bottom will make any nonexistent ass look fucking amazing.
For the real deal, you’ll want a style that’s on the sporty side. Whether it’s block-colored or solid black, a simple high waisted style with full coverage enhances a small frame. More fabric adds shape, curve, and therefore, makes your butt look like you do a hell of a lot of lunges.
A hipster bikini is your go-to if you don’t want any booty flaws, like annoying cellulite, hanging all out on the beach. The mid-rise style still hides your lower stomach so like, no rolls, and hides your love handles so you can still look toned and athletic. This brief cut provides good coverage by keeping most of your butt inside, and making it look fuller.